i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Damn victory sex feels great
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
