I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
