No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
love makes seman taste better
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
