I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
