Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yo dont text me then not text me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
