Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
