guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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