____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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