I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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