i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
