i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
