Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
