That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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