I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
