...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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