i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
