Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I love having hate sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
