I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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