i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
