You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
