Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
birth control should be required to get into college
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
