Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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