Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
