turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am midnight drunk by noon
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
