I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
