too bad you live with your parents still
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
