So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
