So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
