stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
