I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
