I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
