Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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