Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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