I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
