I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
