so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
