I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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