...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
