My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
