her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
