Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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