you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
