I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
