On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
