the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize