My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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