you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
