Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
one two three fourrrrnication!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
