I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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