we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
