why didn't you poke me back
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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