i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your face is a jimmy john
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
