We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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