For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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