Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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