I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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