Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
