I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
